...and why I am probably going to quit most of them, very soon
Well, really, because it's the same 10 or so post topics all the time. Maybe not actually 10, but that's how many fingers I have so I'll just assume it's 10 without any actual proof, as that's a number I am comfortable with and accuracy isn't strictly important for the purposes of this discussion. Maybe I am just too jaded. Really, I know should be happy that there are so many people now enthused by RPGs that they are a thriving presence on social media, buzzing with naive enthusiasm. It's just pretty wearisome seeing the same stuff come around again, and again, and again...
In no particular order, and most definitely including some unfair generalisations for which I apologise in advance:
1) "One of the things I admire most about 5e compared with older editions is..." states a thing that was also true, or possible, or included, in at least one, possibly all, earlier editions.
2) Today's post optimistically seeking affirmation that it's OK to run a GMPC, with totally predictable result of a mixture of people saying: "NOOO get thee behind Satan, you will break D&D" / "OK as long as they are just party support" / "Hey, do whatever you like it's your game" in roughly equal proportion. There'll be another one tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after.
3) "I like to run my own totally original homebrew campaign. I'm now going to ask you all for ideas."
4) "Ha ha ha here's my DM beating magical weapon of mass destruction! Ha ha ha I WIN lolz!" This bro's DM will throw it right TF out when he actually tries it at the table, if they have any sense.
4a) "Look upon my mighty character build and despair". Yawn.
5) "I never plan anything, I am way too cool. I just DM by the seat of my pants. Players....paranoid conjecture....etc" Translation: don't try anything on with this DM's NPCs, that involve game mechanics, they'll just be making up whatever they want to happen with them. Their world is peopled with Deus Ex Machinae. Because they have no stats. You created and invested many hours of play in a diplomancer because your personal fantasy is to play someone with the social skills you don't have IRL? Ah, that's too bad. The charisma dump-statted barbarian whose player makes funny one-liners is going to be your party diplomacy bunny regardless.
[I do have respect for DMs who are good at running spontaneous unplanned stuff and "funny voice" NPCs, but the rather less cool prep-heavy DM'ing style has some upsides that are rarely acknowledged: a world not driven by momentary gut reactions laden with unexamined bias. Chance favours the prepared mind. Which in turn favours fairness.]
6) Memes about Natural 20 / Natural 1 skill checks in D&D 3.5 where the real humour is in the fact that the meme maker clearly doesn't understand how skill checks work in 3.5.
7) "If you’re in my campaign don’t read ahead
.
.
."
Forget it. They'll read ahead. Well, some of them will. Trust me on this.
8) "I'm not trying to be confrontational, but I just wondered why more people don't..." cue passive/aggressive screed on theatre of the mind vs minis / hex maps vs square maps / milestone levelling vs xp / sandbox vs railroad / random stats vs point-buy / dm screen vs no screen; subtly or not-so-subtly shaming those who lack the supposed wisdom to do things the exact same way the author does.
Milestone levelling and Theatre-Of-The-Mind GMs on FB are like that stereotype of vegans that isn't really true, where they are supposedly always getting up in your face and telling you why their lifestyle choices are so superior. All those memes that are like "Lol, look Vegans....some Bacon" ought to be replaced with "Mmmm, Minis and XP are so delicious. Go on, don't you want some XP, milestone leveller? Ah, go on. You know you want it really."*
[*I am truly sorry if you are a milestone levelling GM who doesn't go on and on about the superiority of milestone levelling; maybe you could have a word with your peers for us]
9) Something something Fireball. It was a little bit funny the first time someone cracked this. Just a tiny bit. Hint: it's now the millionth time.
10) "Last night I killed a player and I feel terrible about it." You should. And now I'm phoning the police.
